What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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