Just cropdusted the office
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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