dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
