He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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