Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
a search helicopter?!
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
