He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
