But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
