So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
