i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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