? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
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