I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
