Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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