I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Randomize