it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
