I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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