We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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