ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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