I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
