are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
