I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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