thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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