My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
this is an emotional support booty call
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
