Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Randomize
