And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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