i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
