I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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