So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize