we have officially lost it.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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