I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
