And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
