I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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