I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
