just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
