Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
