I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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