i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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