Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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