why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
