if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
