this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
