I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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