that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
