help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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