you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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