Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
