The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
