They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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