Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize