Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize