So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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