What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
