All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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