how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
