Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
