I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
