I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
