i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You can't just leave with hair like that
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize