I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Randomize
