would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
