Have you finally orgasmed yet?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
