Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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