Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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