Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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