It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize