This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
