My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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