what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize