We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
