My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
