dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
