ugly people sure do ruin things
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
