she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
