Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
