Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
