I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He's on the porch naked. Help.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
