This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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