Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
