your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
