Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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