Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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